Friday, August 20, 2004

Etch Me If You Can!

Lately I've been inviting young ladies to my residence to view my etchings.

Here's a nice one of a, I mean a bottle rack....shaped.....LOVELY, Isn't it?

Here is another...

This is a favourite of mine. I produced this etching after a particularly torrid evening with Mary Augusta Ward and Emily Bronte! At one point, Henry James and I argued which woman was which in the picture. I told him I was kidding about the three-way and it was actually a sketch of my second wife looking in the mirror. He believed me, we had a laugh and a scotch and some kisses and light petting by candle light until the sun came up.

In other news:

For those of you that have been following my current lifestyle, I have decided to cease following this poppycock Atkins diet. I have found that this excessive intake of red meats has made it incredibly difficult to pass a turd. I have the most acrid gas too!

I am also concerned about my recent inability to achieve an erection. I also attribute this to the Atkins diet, or perhaps the fact that I'm 138 years old. But Hef tells me not to worry, I'm probably just nervous with the new girl.


Blogger The Head said...

My wife was on the Atkins. Are you still on it? Is so - Metamucil. Lots of it.

9:27 AM  

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