Monday, September 13, 2004

You Are Playing With Fire, Sir!

Indeed! Playing with fire is what this Steven Spielberg chap is doing! First those chaps STOLE from me for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and now this! Ghastly insults!

How DARE he plan production of a film based upon my novel War of the Worlds and not consult me! I HAVE NO SAY IN THESE MATTERS? Boo on you, Steven! I have much to say!

That novel needs, at minimum, four or five rewrites before it is ready for the silver screen! I did not prepare that text for film! I have been looking over my 1886-1888 manuscripts and notes from War of the Worlds recently, and I have found passages I removed which might "punch up" a script considerably! Sizeable passages of material, but did you ask? NO.

Furthermore, who is this dowdy David Koepp? Who gave him permissions to "adapt" my work? Were his credentials so overwhelming you could not resist? The flaming idiot has done nothing but adapt others works! Jurassic Park and Spiderman, phooey! His only appropriate work has been Hack, for that is his title!!

I am not going to EVEN comment on this Tom Cruise fellow, the crashing bore. I have viewed a recapitulation of his works and found many of the films to be quite irksome. I do not doubt his performance in Minority Report has led these Hollywood types to believe he is appropriate for my lead character. That and his lengthy list of other works with Mr. Spielberg, that bloody fool!

Goodness, I am a fevered pitch!

I only wish I had been consulted. As this film begins production, I shall hope these men come around and contact me.

If nothing else, as this progresses, it will drive interested parties to this blog. Then I will have my say on this epic production!

Honestly gentlemen, when Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater performed the radio version in 1938, they asked for my assistance and look what a SMASHING time that was!

Call me, Steven. You are going to need me on this one, no one wants my novel to come off like A.I.


Blogger The Head said...

I am outraged as well! They pay those studio execs a SHITLOAD of money to come up with ideas. And they can't even do that. Let's They just keep remaking (and remaking them really poorly) old movies. I hate them.
I'm with you Mr. Wells.
Let's get 'em.

10:26 AM  
Blogger H G Wells said...

I thank you for your continued support, Head. This is a situation where I thought my closest friends would most certainly heed the call to arms.

Yet, I am suggesting we bide our time. I am willing to give the Spielberg camp ample time to request my assistance...considering we are now moving into the earliest of stages.

Be at the ready, friends!!

10:39 AM  
Blogger The Head said...

"The ocean will run red with the blood of my enemies."
- Captain Murphy

Like the spider waiting for the fly we shall wait. And then, when the time is right, we shall strike, and get vengeance for everything he and his ilk has done to movies.
I can't believe he's putting off Indiana Jones 4 to ruin your great story.
Have they no respect?

11:08 AM  
Blogger Girl Friday said...

Mr Wells you forgot to mention that Tom Cruise is a dwarf. He is 3fr 2" and wears high heeled shoes in all his films too. Nice bit of gossip for you.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Jayleigh said...

Chi-town indeed. As far as being a clean city..... um it depends on which part of the city.

Do have a good weekend.

9:32 AM  

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